My apt is a mess, I have various paper work to catch up on, and other sundry 'need to do' items. I'm not doing any of those things. It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I'm listening to Etta James, reminiscing, and looking through old photos. In my pajamas. Contemplating small changes, considering larger changes.
I haven't been super happy the past few months. Not exactly depressed, but cranky, frustrated, and dissatisfied. My work schedule was extreme and I was travelling for derby every weekend. Due mostly to how busy I was, this turned derby into work again- as opposed to social fun and pressure release. Been feeling sort of isolated, partially from living in the sticks, but also because I have a tendency to hole up instead of reaching out when I'm down.
I finished my last class at Andong National University yesterday, although I'm still under contract until February 28. Looking for a new job. I have options open to me. I want to live in a larger community, be more connected, have more opportunities for growth. Or move to a different country. Will a different place make me happier? Or, do I just need to take advantage of the options that are always around me?
I crave change. I fear change. I dig in roots and then want to tear them out.
I haven't been super happy the past few months. Not exactly depressed, but cranky, frustrated, and dissatisfied. My work schedule was extreme and I was travelling for derby every weekend. Due mostly to how busy I was, this turned derby into work again- as opposed to social fun and pressure release. Been feeling sort of isolated, partially from living in the sticks, but also because I have a tendency to hole up instead of reaching out when I'm down.
I finished my last class at Andong National University yesterday, although I'm still under contract until February 28. Looking for a new job. I have options open to me. I want to live in a larger community, be more connected, have more opportunities for growth. Or move to a different country. Will a different place make me happier? Or, do I just need to take advantage of the options that are always around me?
I crave change. I fear change. I dig in roots and then want to tear them out.
